by Leon Rosenshein

On Language

Just a little humor today. 

ACHTUNG

ALLES TURISTEN UND NONTEKNISCHEN LOOKENSPEEPERS!

DAS KOMPUTERMASCHINE IST NICHT FÜR DER GEFINGERPOKEN UND MITTENGRABEN! ODERWISE IST EASY TO SCHNAPPEN DER SPRINGENWERK, BLOWENFUSEN UND POPPENCORKEN MIT SPITZENSPARKEN.

IST NICHT FÜR GEWERKEN BEI DUMMKOPFEN. DER RUBBERNECKEN SIGHTSEEREN KEEPEN DAS COTTONPICKEN HÄNDER IN DAS POCKETS MUSS.

ZO RELAXEN UND WATSCHEN DER BLINKENLICHTEN.


The inspiration for your favorite language:

  • Python:   What if everything was a dict?
  • Java:   What if everything was an object?
  • JavaScript:   What if everything was a dict *and* an object?
  • C:   What if everything was a pointer?
  • APL:   What if everything was an array?
  • Tcl:   What if everything was a string?
  • Prolog:   What if everything was a term?
  • LISP:   What if everything was a pair?
  • Scheme:   What if everything was a function?
  • Haskell:   What if everything was a monad?
  • Assembly:   What if everything was a register?
  • Coq:   What if everything was a type/proposition?
  • COBOL:   WHAT IF EVERYTHING WAS UPPERCASE?
  • C#:   What if everything was like Java, but different?
  • Ruby:   What if everything was monkey patched?
  • Pascal:   BEGIN What if everything was structured? END
  • C++:   What if we added everything to the language?
  • C++11:   What if we forgot to stop adding stuff?
  • Rust:   What if garbage collection didn't exist?
  • Go:   What if we tried designing C a second time?
  • Perl:   What if shell, sed, and awk were one language?
  • Perl6:   What if we took the joke too far?
  • PHP:   What if we wanted to make SQL injection easier?
  • VB:   What if we wanted to allow anyone to program?
  • VB.NET:   What if we wanted to stop them again?
  • Forth:   What if everything was a stack?
  • ColorForth:   What if the stack was green?
  • PostScript:   What if everything was printed at 600dpi?
  • XSLT:   What if everything was an XML element?
  • Make:   What if everything was a dependency?
  • m4:   What if everything was incomprehensibly quoted?
  • Scala:   What if Haskell ran on the JVM?
  • Clojure:   What if LISP ran on the JVM?
  • Lua:   What if game developers got tired of C++?
  • Mathematica:   What if Stephen Wolfram invented everything?
  • Malbolge:   What if there is no god?

Shooting yourself in the foot, language style

What's your favorite? Share in the thread.